Hello fan base,
First off, I want to apologize. I have been absent for way too long. After my 5 week studio rental back in March (…really, March?! Gah!) and an intensive flurry of painting and promotional work on my social media sites, it has been radio silence from me ever since…but I have my reasons!
1) I went back to work full time, grateful to have a job to come back to after maternity leave. I told myself I would paint on the evenings and weekends…
2) Shane and I got married in July! It was a wonderful, joyous celebration full of love, laughter, and a heavy dose of reality. Thank goodness you only get married once (*knocks on wood*) because I never want to plan another wedding ever again!!! Any spare time leading up to that moment was spent preparing our vows, writing speeches, running around town for last minute shopping supplies and attending appointments with vendors. It was so much work! I told myself I would get back into painting after the wedding once things settled down…
3) I am experiencing a major mental burnout! In June, Cenovus announced that the asset I’m working on is up for sale, so my thoughts and emotions have been consumed with the prospect of working for a completely new company or, worse, getting laid off in this terrible job market. If that happens, I might have to switch industries altogether…how could I do that? What skills of mine are transferrable? What sort of salary can support our family outside of the O&G industry? If I can’t find work, where would we move to? I DON’T WANT TO MOVE. THIS IS A NIGHTMARE! I NEED THERAPY! OH GOD, PASS THE WINE!!!! (You know, that sort of insidious worrying that infects your mind gets you nowhere in life…that is my brain lately. Not a good creative foundation!)
4) The garage is stuffed with DIY wedding inventory, so it’s hard to create in such a messy environment (I miss my studio!). The air has been so smoky from all the wildfires in BC, so my plan to paint en plein air and take advantage of the summer sun has been stifled for health reasons. Boo!
5) I just want to spend all my time with our beautiful walking, talking, hilarious toddler. She has been a constant source of positivity, and watching her blossom into this smart, independent little character has been a real blessing. Can you blame me for leaning on her during these turbid times?
I will get back into painting, I just can’t say when yet. The little pilot light is always burning in the back of my mind…I cannot turn it off. I just don’t know when I can tend to my creative fire and give it the attention it deserves. Perhaps once the bids close on this asset sale and I have some more clarity about my future at work, I don’t know. Perhaps I should just put the paintbrush to work, despite not really having my heart or head in the game right now. It might just make me feel better to create something, even if it’s crap.
It will happen. Somehow, it always does.
Thank you for your patience.